Starting a public journey about becoming healthy and losing weight can be pretty intimidating. Being public and extremely open and honest is who I am, I’m the kind of person who calls people out but know how to say things so hearts don’t get hurt. Being this type of person gives me skills that have empowered me to take this journey on with all that comes and what comes is a lot of emotions, anyone that has struggled with their body (not necessarily losing weight, but gaining, body building…) knows that even when on a roll, life has a funny way of getting in your way.
I have a lot of friends who are active and others that are extremely active, some of these people hit the gym once or twice a week, play a bit of dodge ball and for the others active is an under statement, along with working out for health, fitness is their hobby, like painting or music or tv is for others. Blessed to have friends who’s hobby is fitness is that they ALWAYS are up for working out, be it going for a walk, running stairs or taking a new adventure down the North Saskatchewan on a canoe. Surrounding myself with like minded people has been a huge help, this week I know I have a friend to do stairs with, two to swim with, a group to ride with, a yoga date or two and my daily boot camp team.
It is also pretty amazing the kind of relationships you build with people when you both are challenging yourselves. The energy that we get and the conversations that happen before, during and after a work out or activity can be so diverse, so simple or the words you needed to push forward. This week I had three moments where what I had read or what some one said truly benefited my outlook. First, one of the guys I work out with and I were chatting, I told him he was really killing it with his training (he has planned to do 2-5 triathlons planned for this summer – new thing for him) he replied “I don’t just want to just complete, I want to compete.” I loved this, It applies to so many things, I could go to boot camp in the morning and go through the motions or I can DO IT, give it everything and more every day. The second was a blog I read about a man who talked about how hard it was for him to go to the gym because he truly didn’t feel like he fit in, he is a 365 pound man, he talked about how he did an hour on the treadmill and as he walked to the change room when done, feeling both good about what he’s accomplished and inadequate about being the big guy at the gym filled with fit people, a man walked by and said “Way to go man, looking great, keep up the good work” or something along those lines. The man described how he was shocked and all he could say was thank you. This stranger acknowledged his hard work, made him feel proud of what he had accomplished, given him that push to continue. Our words are incredibly powerful, we can ruin someone’s day or we can give them the inspiration or motivation to push forward. I had a person do this for me yesterday, I was at the top of the Glenora stairs, it was my fifth set, all I needed to do was go down and then one more set and I was done, I would have hit my goal of six sets and I would have been happy with that, a women who had been doing the stairs for about the same amount of time as me, smiled and said “Keep up the good work, what a beautiful day.” We chatted a bit, I told her I hadn’t been since September and I was really feeling it, we parted ways I got to my finish point when I was about to walk to the car when I said to myself, “Good job is right! Keep going, don’t have to rush, just do one more set” one more set became two, I did eight sets of stairs at a good pace and achieved a personal best.
The third moment was during the eighth set, I began to think about how in the morning I had no clue what I was going to write about and now I knew, I knew I was growing and changing and getting stronger, better, faster, smaller and happier. I remembered the first time I did those stairs in June and could barely make it up twice, I remembered how in November I struggled in bootcamp and how today the girls are all looking so much stronger and more confident. When I reached the bottom, me and my wobbly legs got to the car and I had a “moment”, I’ve never had this type of “moment” when I’ve worked out lifting weights or running but I have had this “moment” in yoga countless times. This is the moment when you almost have an out of body experience, you feel light, you feel free, you feel like a weight has been lifted and for me every time this moment has happened tears begin to roll down my face, I have no clue why or even where they came from they appear so quickly and then with out me even realizing it I’m overcome with emotion. If you’ve experienced this you will understand the absolute beauty of the moment, if you haven’t I hope one day you do, this is the kind of emotional release that reminds you that its all worth while, that the fact that my stupid number on the scale hasn’t changed (yes I caved and weighed myself and the number hasn’t changed) it’s a moment that over powers those thoughts of inadequacy and is almost like a reset.
The last two weeks have been hard emotionally and physically, I struggled to get to the gym, I probably drank that lovely wine a bit more then I should and I fell down the steps at my house and hurt my shoulder which gave me an excuse to not “compete”. I struggle with knowing that my number hasn’t changed and I struggle with the fact that I’m not happy at my job, life took over this week. The time for change is now, I have decided its probably time to find a new job, I have made new plans to reach my fitness goals and I spent some time talking with Chris about “my formula” we aren’t all the same, what works for one won’t work for all, so we are figuring out the food thing (Feel free to find me on myfitness pal Sarah @ Luzzara.ca) the last few days where probably the most important in the last few weeks. I just keep reminding myself that life is filled with struggles and that I have the power to control this aspect of my life, I have the power to grow old and be healthy along the way, I’m almost thirty… in my family that means I have close to seventy years to go, I better be able to handle this changing world.
